Album of the Year #5: Bedwetter (Lil Ugly Mane) - volume 1: flick your tongue against your teeth and describe the present. - HipHop | HipHop Channel

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Album of the Year #5: Bedwetter (Lil Ugly Mane) - volume 1: flick your tongue against your teeth and describe the present. - HipHop

Album of the Year #5: Bedwetter (Lil Ugly Mane) - volume 1: flick your tongue against your teeth and describe the present. - HipHop


Album of the Year #5: Bedwetter (Lil Ugly Mane) - volume 1: flick your tongue against your teeth and describe the present.

Posted: 05 Dec 2017 10:18 AM PST

Artist: Bedwetter (Lil Ugly Mane)

Album: volume 1: flick your tongue against your teeth and describe the present.

Label: Self-Released

Release Date: January 29, 2017


Listen:

YouTube

Spotify

Bandcamp

Apple Music


Background

Bedwetter is the latest pseudonym of Travis Miller, best known as Lil Ugly Mane. For a more extensive history of Miller and his work as Lil Ugly Mane before the release of this album, check out my /r/indieheads For Your Consideration write-up on Oblivion Access, as this background is going to mainly focus on what led to the release of his debut project under the Bedwetter album.

After releasing Oblivion Access in late 2015, Miller, as Lil Ugly Mane, formed the group Secret Circle with frequent collaborator Antwon and Wiki (of Ratking) in 2016 and the group has released a few singles, including "KEEP IT LOW", "SATELLITE" ft. Despot and "Tube Socks", since the formation of the group. The Bedwetter project was teased in December 2016 with this Facebook post and the release of the singles "selfish" and "stoop lights."

Finally, volume 1: flick your tongue against your teeth and describe the present. was released on January 29, 2017 on the Lil Ugly Mane Bandcamp after a concerning post on Facebook that has since been taken down. A day after the release, Miller made a new statement on the Lil Ugly Mane Facebook page after receiving a few emails from people asking about the album and what led to its release. The statement is, as below:

I keep getting emails from people.

I wrote this the day before Bedwetter was recorded.

All i could do, all i can do is write poems and basically a polemic yelp review into the notepad on my phone.

what else can i do.

im not gonna get into my own shit on some specific level because fuck you, i dont know you. pay attention to yourself.

but i feel like this is the best way i can explain shit.

polemic yelp review of american heath care system:

"After a lifetime of avoiding this shit. Ignoring this shit. FInding myself confused.

After 3 months of sleeplessly, anxiously glaring into the eyes of an old monster that suddenly grew a new head.

3 months of forgetting who i was. What i was doing.

I knew something had to happen. I'd known this for a while.

I had been reaching out

Calling.

Emailing.

After continuous unsuccessful attempts for months to contact psychiatrists and doctors, I reluctantly checked into the hospital today.

I thought maybe i could get a much needed psych evaluation and hopefully receive some sort of treatment, perhaps even simply a referral and/or an appointment to go see somebody else who could provide that.

I didn't know what else to do.

What else are you supposed to do.

For six hours I sat nervously twitching and in a freezing waiting room.

Whimpering old men being completely overtaken by their Alzheimer's.

Vomiting children.

Bleeding Fingers.

Ugly loud sagging losers who were obviously constantly there.

Begging for attention with some new ailment and concern.

Their broken humilated spouse at their side.

I was anxious and horrified by the idea of a potential forced or even voluntary intake to a psychiatric facility.

Surrending my freedom.

Surrender of my routines.

After six hours of constantly reassuring myself I was doing the right thing, I was finally seen.

Led down a hallway into a bare concrete cell with a small bed in the center. Dim lights. scratches on the drab walls.

Grates in the floor to catch whatever bodily fluids they have to hose out of there.

One of the walls was one of those steel doors that the corner store pulls down at the end of the night.

Not sure what that was about.

Empty though.

A bed and a chair.

Somebody had carved "slipknot sucks" into the plastic bed that was bolted to the floor. Seems fitting.

You're the same, you're basically just a stupid fucking sad teenager right now. You're pathetic. Good luck getting better idiot.

I was given a gown and my belongings were inventoried and confiscated.

I sat and waited in my gown.

Eventually, Two skittish nurses and some community college educated social worker baby-talked their questions to me as a lurching police officer glared at me disgustedly over their shoulders.

I'd chosen to go in at a time where I was feeling okay so i would be fully able to articulate and describe the symptoms I was experiencing so I could potentially receive the most accurate treatment. I thought that made the most sense.

I didn't want to wait until I was in the midst of some anxious episode and having to hyperventilate my troubles out thru a salty humiliated fog. I thought that made the most sense.

I sat and calmy described my symptoms. I tried to convey how terrified i was. I tried to tell them i couldnt do it anymore.

This was received with a couple bored nods and sparse notes being jotted down on a clipboard.

Eventually i was hurried along and any complexity of my disease was all quickly reduced to two simple questions:

"Are you suicidal? Do you wanna hurt anyone else?"

No.

No I don't. I can't think of anything I wanna do less than die, I can't think of anything that frightens me or gives me more anxiety than the uncertainty of what happens when you die.

No.

No I don't actively want to hurt anyone, to be honest, the fact that I voluntarily came in here could be seen as an indication that I'm absolutely exhausted and desperate to stop hurting myself and everyone else by not confronting this shit for so long.

wrong answer.

I was discharged. handed back my clothes, given a xeroxed list of some websites about suicide prevention and a "feel better" or some other equally patronizing verbal pat on the back.

Back right where I started.

Nobody is gonna help me.

Our current mental healthcare system is absolute shit.

Absolute shit that absolutely incentivizes violence and self harm by categorizing it as the sole interpretation of "severity" worth treating.

By making the idea of treatment feel so utterly hopeless to people who already exist and drown in their hopelessness.

Fuck your resources. Fuck being understaffed. Fuck your stupid priorities. You're incompetent .

Here let me clear out some space for you. Free up some of your time. Empty some rooms.

On hurting yourself:

This is a complex issue, but to briefly put it, I believe a suicidal individual should not only be afforded that right, but after some legislatively decided period of time and therapy and education to ward off impulsiveness and melodrama, the same way they treat anybody undergoing assisted suicide. A process. they should be given a safe clean environment and chemicals to facilitate their decision, no matter the reasoning. grow up.

On hurting someone else:

This is not a complex issue. As far as recidivist violent degenerate squealing psychopaths...rabid dogs just need a bullet to the head.

I've read old yeller.

They dont care. Neither do I.

boo hoo.

Conversely:

lock them in a room and keep them safe.

Is this really that hard?

"Are you an immediate threat to yourself or others are you?"

How about instead of prioritizing that question we focus more on:

"Im so tired and exhausted of constantly hurting myself and everyone around me"

Be passing over someone like me, a person who, on their own volition, came to you for help. A person who desperately wants help. You are simply and plainly creating more and more and more people who will eventually be slobbering immediate threats to themselves and all of mankind.

It creates that understanding.

In an already fractured damaged mind it is an entirely reasonable assertion that you would potentially have to commit an act of violence against yourself or others just to receive treatment. even if you didn't want to.

even if that wasn't a real compulsion.

a last resort.

This system has a very real potential to turn people who voluntarily seek help, people who aren't yet completely overtaken by their illness, into violent suicidal monsters because you are dangling their own treatment on a string in front of them, scoffing at their pitiful attempt at recovery and demanding they need to do more.

"well shit, if you want help yr gonna have to try a lot harder than that buddy, haha, comeback after you snapped a random person's neck in a grocery store and cut off all the fingers on your left hand with some scissors, fucking poser".

I'll get better one day.

Not today.

Maybe I'll have fingers.

Maybe I won't."

thanks for the well wishes.

i'm fine.

i'm just angry.

i'm not the only person dealing with this and i've lived a full, somewhat interesting life.

i hate that you are dealing with this.


Review

I don't really know where to begin with this. volume 1, since its release, has been an incredibly difficult album to listen to due the the background and the depressing lyrical content. This isn't the first album of 2017 to bring out a similar reaction in me, as the same can be said about Mount Eerie's A Crow Looked At Me. Both are extremely painful looks at the narrator's mental health and the events that led its deterioration. For Phil Elverum, it was the death of his wife, Geneviève, after her battle with cancer. For Travis Miller, it was the failure of the American healthcare system when his cries for help were silenced.

Miller's music, specifically his work as Lil Ugly Mane, is deeply important to me. MISTA THUG ISOLATION and the singles he released before Oblivion Access were all extremely formative in developing my music taste and opened my ears to a lot of new sounds and expressions. Up until the release of volume 1, Miller had always took a more abstract approach to his mental health struggles, and even outright denied his music as Lil Ugly Mane held some deeper meaning. I implied in my write-up for Oblivion Access that it was the first time we were truly hearing a Travis Miller project, but it's safe to say after listening to volume 1, I might have jumped the gun.

The album begins with the short but cryptic "john", a remixed and chopped up reading of the Bible verse John 1:1, repeatedly fixating on "was God" before roughly transitioning into "man wearing a helmet." Distant piano chords, rain, a chopped up female vocal sample, a father talking about his child, a jury reading out a verdict, a man asking another if he and his wife have thought about moving, a father now being interviewed about his child being kidnapped, another female voice that's hard to decipher but is definitely talking about this child, and a drone playing behind all these people talking leads into the album's first verse, as Miller describes another person's childhood memories like ripping bark out of trees, pretending to be Superman, and wearing mismatched pairs of Chucks. These memories quickly turn into just that as we now cut to Miller describing this child being kidnapped: "He's a sitting duck, didn't hear the car pull up / Thought his arm broke when they shoved him in the trunk."

This story continues as Miller further describes the child's circumstances after being thrown in the trunk at an almost breakneck pace, seemingly trying to through the story as fast as he can before he breaks down. It's all extremely traumatizing to hear, as the child begins to fear the worst as he looks back: "He miss his mom's affection / He miss the dinosaur blanket on the bed that he slept in / Miss throwing sticks so the dog would go fetch 'em / Missed makin' forts in the woods with his best friend."

In the third verse, the car eventually reaches its destination and the child is carried to the kidnapper's shelter, being led down into a dark stairwell into a lair, the only thing he can see being the "bluish glow of television flickers." As the child continues to describe their worry at what's to come, the listener is hit with a gut punch as "he" becomes "I," as the child Miller was describing the whole time was really himself, revealing the origin story of where his battles with mental health begin as the hook plays on with Miller asking himself questions about this event, with all the answers being "I just don't remember," as he has repressed his memories of the kidnapping.

While "man wearing a helmet" looks at his past, "stoop lights" cuts to the modern day, with running static/crinkling, a dizzying string sample, synthetic bass, hi-hats, bass drums, and hand claps building the song's foundation, as Miller begins rapping about what it's like to be inside his head with no pretensions or greater abstract meanings. His self-hatred has evolved beyond hatred, as Miller simply wants nothing to do with himself any longer, retreating to alcohol and substance abuse to take away the pain of living, pushing himself towards death. The only light he sees are literal ones, as his description of watching them flicker in the hook leads further describing his problems with alcohol and how it's led to his family leaving him behind.

Miller's descriptions of his deteriorating mental state are as compelling as they are downright disturbing to here. It's still slightly jarring to hear the man who rapped "Slick Rick said treat 'em like a prostitute" talk about alcohol abuse and depression so openly, but that's what makes volume 1 so fascinating, as it's essentially Miller throwing in the towel, no longer resorting to an exaggerated gangster persona or gross abstractions, but trying to describe what's happening in his head and around him without any bullshit.

This no bullshit approach is best put to use in "haze of interference", which starts off with a repeating sample of a man sing-talking "I'm not sure what it was," with the rest of the song seeing Miller at not only his most angry, but his most desperate, backed behind menacing synths, distant piano chords, boom bap drums and rattling hi-hats that go back and forth in intensity. One of my favorite lines of the whole album comes out of this first verse and it's such a simple, but perfect description of crippling depression, as Miller raps towards the end: "Greener on the other side, how about nothing's green." The second verse sees Miller spitting with more fury than we've ever seen, rapping at himself expressing his anger with himself at how he deals with his problems, how he shows himself to his friends and family, and most importantly how his fans see him, with Miller breaking from rapping at "you" to rapping the line "You're treated like a muse, are you happy now, Travis?"

The whole song could end there and still leave a massive impact, but Miller keeps going lamenting the fact that he could disappear and almost no one in his immediate life would notice or care, going from referencing the Jonas Jonasson novel The 100 Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared to straight up saying "If I was glass I'd revert back to sand." Miller ends the verse by completely shattering the fourth wall he previously damaged with the final lines "I'm standing by a microphone and yelling at a wall / Pick a thousand names, you're still nobody at all," delivered as Miller's voice finally cracks as the song plays out for another two minutes with a fuller Jandek sample seen in the song's intro, before sourly fading out.

And that's the last we hear of Miller on volume 1, as the second-to-final track "this in not my stomach" features a bizarre and disturbing whisper behind a brooding instrumental, with the lyrics possibly hinting that the song is written in the perspective of the depression itself, trying to convince the host body it's inhabiting to cut out its stomach, almost like an entity from the Black Lodge. Then, the album ends with "cave yourself over," a lo-fi piano ballad that simply allows you to sit there and think, taking in all you've heard.

volume 1 sees a man afraid. A man backed into a corner. A man calling for help. A man who simply just wants to be understood after purposefully obscuring himself for so long. Music was always the thing Travis Miller could resort back to, something to distract him from his mental troubles. Travis Miller the person and Travis Miller the musician were always supposed to be separated. Then, he finally tried to get help and was humiliated, forcing the two to converge in what became Bedwetter. While mental health awareness is at an all time high in America, there's still a ton of progress to be made as can be seen by Miller's story. The final note I want to leave this review on isn't my own, but Miller's, as it's the final paragraph of the album's Bandcamp description:

I really thought today someone would recognize my courage, as i handed over power just to reconcile my purpose, that I needed something urgent. I was eager just to learn it. I just wanna person, lord I'm weary from this burden.


Favorite Lyrics

Crouched down by the tree at his neighbors

He liked the way the bark ripped off like paper

He pretended he was Superman, eyes had lasers

Every step he took turned earth into craters

Little brown jacket, Lee jeans with a cuff

Bowl cut, blue and yellow mismatched Chucks

  • "man wearing a helmet"

Waking up in situations

Feeling like I'm living in suspended animation

Guess I'm still sober on occasion

And that's enough for me to rationalize inebriation

  • "stoop lights"

I told you I ain't right, you knew it going in

Just shut the fuck up if you wanna be a friend

I don't want to stretch you more than you extend

I don't want to spit in the hand that you lend

I did it to myself, I get what I deserve

Thoughts in my head, feel like a raw nerve

I'm lookin' for an answer, I don't want to hurt but

I just want to sleep when I'm tired of earth

  • "stoop lights"

Foggy little planet where your groping hands to touch a scream

Greener on the other side, how about nothing's green

Bashful baby boy, so distracted by my toys

Rode a tractor from Wyoming to Chicago, Illinois

On a carpet of the 50 states, part of me disintegrates

The only thing I'm left with is the part I can't articulate

  • "haze of interference"

You're never getting better, you're addicted to the madness

You're treated like a muse, are you happy now, Travis?

  • "haze of interference"

If I was glass I'd revert back to sand

Scattered through the sea, I could pass through your hands

None of this will happen, nothing will ever

The things that I believe can never ever happen

I'm standing by a microphone and yelling at a wall

Pick a thousand names, you're still nobody at all

  • "haze of interference"

Talking Points

  • How does volume 1 hold up to Travis' work as Lil Ugly Mane? Is it better, worse, or a whole new beast entirely?

  • What are your thoughts on the production? Is it a natural evolution from Oblivion Access?

  • What do you think about the album's lyrical content? Does the album's desperate origins come across in the writing?

  • I also want to open up this thread as a discussion for mental health. How have you dealt with your own mental health troubles? Are they similar to Miller's experiences?

  • And finally, where does this album land on your year-end list?


Thanks for reading and big thanks to /u/TheRoyalGodfrey for letting me do this again this year and for bringing Album of the Year over from /r/hiphopheads! We're currently in the midst of our third Album of the Year series over at /r/indieheads, so if you want to come over and give us some love, that'd be greatly appreciated! You can view what we've done so far and what we've got coming up over here, and make sure to come back tomorrow on this subreddit as /u/ImWaal talks Rick Ross' Rather You Than Me.

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Metro Boomin x Big Sean project out Thursday

Posted: 05 Dec 2017 04:09 PM PST

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Travis Scott's father taught DJ PREMIER drums, Travis Scott's uncle taught him bass.

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Video inside too. https://twitter.com/ElliottWilson/status/938053592937791488

Travis Scott's father taught @REALDJPREMIER drums, Travis Scott's uncle taught him bass and Travis Scott's grandmother taught him English.

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Jaden Smith's "Syre" sells 24K first week (4K Pure). Fabolous & Jadakiss' "Friday on Elm Street" sells 17K first week (17K Pure).

Posted: 05 Dec 2017 09:35 AM PST

Rank Artist Album Label Pure Sales Sales + Streaming
1 Kendrick Lamar DAMN. TDE/Interscope 362K 610K
2 Drake More Life YMCMB/Republic 230k 505K
3 Logic Everybody Def Jam 199K 251K
4 Big Sean I Decided G.O.O.D./Def Jam 65K 156K
5 DJ Khaled Grateful We The Best/Epic 52K 151K
6 Future FUTURE Freebandz/Epic 57K 139K
7 Gorillaz Humanz Parlophone/Warner Bros 108K 135K
8 Lil Uzi Vert Luv Is Rage 2 Generation Now/Atlantic 28K 126K
9 Migos Culture Quality Control 40K 121K
10 Future HENDRXX Freebandz/Epic 44K 117K
11 Bryson Tiller True to Self TRAPSOUL/RCA 47K 116K
12 Tyler, the Creator Flower Boy Odd Future/Colombia 72K 106K
13 2 Chainz Pretty Girls Like Trap Music Def Jam 57K 106K
14 Meek Mill Wins & Losses Atlantic 37K 102K
15 Rick Ross Rather You Than Me Epic 69K 100K
16 XXXTENTACION 17 Bad Vibes Forever/Empire 18K 86K
17 Mary J. Blige Strength of a Woman Capitol 70K 76K
18 21 Savage Issa Album Slaughter Gang/Epic 22K 75K
19 Future & Young Thug Super Slimey Epic/300/Atlantic 12K 75K
20 Kodak Black Painting Pictures WMG 15K 70K
21 Gucci Mane Mr. Davis Atlantic 22K 64K
22 Trey Songz Tremaine The Album WMG 42K 63K
23 Calvin Harris Funk Wave Bounces Vol. 1 Columbia 24K 63K
24 A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie The Bigger Artist Highbridge/Atlantic 10K 61K
25 Kehlani SweetSexySavage WMG 30K 57K
26 Chris Brown Heartbreak On A Full Moon RCA 25K 56K
27 SZA CTRL TDE/RCA 24K 55K
28 NF Perception NF Real Music/Caroline 36K 53K
29 French Montana Jungle Rules Bad Boy/Epic 15K 52K
30 Joey Bada$$ All-Amerikkkan Badass Cinematic Music/Pro Era 24K 51K
31 Russ There's Really A Wolf Colombia 24K 49K
32 Macklemore Gemini Bendo LLC 27K 48K
33 21 Savage, Offset & Metro Boomin Without Warning Slaughter Gang/Epic 11K 48K
34 Lil Pump Lil Pump Tha Lights Global/Warner Bros. 7K 45K
35 Lil Yachty Teenage Emotions Quality Control/Motown/Capitol 18K 44K
36 Kodak Black Project Baby 2 Atlantic 8K 44K
37 Kevin Gates By Any Means 2 Bread Winners' Association/Atlantic 18K 41K
38 A$AP Mob Cozy Tapes, Vol. 2: Too Cozy A$AP World/Polo Grounds/RCA 8K 40K
39 Khalid American Teen Right Hand Music/RCA 13K 37K
40 Jhene Aiko Trip Def Jam 10K 37K
41 Big K.R.I.T. 4eva Is A Mighty Long Time BMG 22K 35K
42 Fabolous & Jadakiss Friday on Elm Street Def Jam 18K 33K
43 Young Thug Beautiful Thugger Girls Atlantic 6K 32K
44 Lecrae All Things Work Together Reach 20K 31K
45 Gucci Mane Droptopwop Atlantic 9K 31K
46 Nav & Metro Boomin Perfect Timing XO/Boominati/Republic 6K 31K
47 Ty Dolla $ign Beach House 3 Atlantic 7K 30K
48 Yo Gotti I Still Am Epic 12K 29K
49 Playboi Carti Playboi Carti AWGE/Interscope 8K 28K
50 Vince Staples Big Fish Theory Def Jam 16K 27K
51 PnB Rock Catch These Vibes Atlantic 4K 27K
52 Dave East Paranoia: A True Story Mass Appeal/Def Jam 12K 26K
53 Moneybagg Yo Federal 3X N-Less/Interscope 10K 26K
54 Wu-Tang The Saga Continues 36 Chambers/eOne 19K 25K
55 Wale Shine MMG/Atlantic 13K 25K
56 Moneybagg Yo & Youngboy Never Broke Again Fed Baby's N-Less Entertainment/Never Broke Again 5K 25K
57 Jaden Smith Syre MSFTSMusic/Roc Nation 4K 24K
58 Young Dolph Thinking Out Loud Paper Route Empire 7K 23K
59 A$AP Ferg Still Striving RCA 5K 23K
60 G Herbo Humble Beast Machine Entertainment 7K 21K
61 Lupe Fiasco Drogas Light 1st and 15th 14K 20K
62 Big Boi BOOMIVERSE Epic 13K 20K
63 Nav Nav XO/Republic 4K 20K
64 Mike WiLL Made-It Ransom 2 WMG 4K 19K
65 Tech N9ne Dominion Strange Music 15K 17K
66 AI YoungBoy YoungBoy Never Broke Again Never Broke Again 5K 16K
67 Amine Good For You Republic 4K 16K
68 Pitbull Climate Change Polo Grounds/RCA 10K 13K
69 Keyshia Cole 11:11 Reset Epic 9K 13K
70 Vic Mensa The Autobiography Roc Nation 7K 13K
71 DVSN The Morning After OVO Sound/Warner Bros. 4K 13K
72 Yelawolf Trial By Fire Shady/Aftermath/Interscope 10K 12K
73 Action Bronson Blue Chips 700 Vice/Atlantic 8K 12K
74 Ugly God The Booty Tape Atlantic N/A 12K
75 Fat Joe & Remy Ma Plata O Plomo RNG/Empire 8K 11K

FAQ:

Q: Source?

A: http://hitsdailydouble.com/building_album_chart

Q: How is this list sorted?

A: It's sorted by sales + streaming

Q: What are pure sales?

A: Pure sales are purchases of the album (itunes, amazon, physicals, etc)

Q: Where is X album?

A: Only albums with 10K in sales + streaming are listed

Q: Aren't those numbers low for Drake?

A: Drake released "More Life" on a Saturday night which means that he lost around 2 full days of sales.

Q: What about "4:44"?

A: It didn't have any sales first week as it was a Tidal exclusive and Tidal did not report their streaming numbers.

Q: Why are Ugly God's pure sales "N/A"

A: Ugly God's pure sales were outside of the top 50 for it's release week, meaning the exact number was unknown. It sold fewer than 3K pure copies.

Q: Where can I find last year's list?

A: 2016 list, 2015 list


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[FRESH ALBUM] Supa Bwe - Finally Dead

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[FRESH] OG Marco ft Offset - Ticket

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Phresher Speaks on Collaborating With Eminem for "Chloraseptic": 'It's Raw as F*ck'

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Daily Discussion Thread 12/05/2017

Posted: 05 Dec 2017 07:14 AM PST

Welcome to the /r/hiphopheads daily discussion thread!

This thread is for:

  • objective questions with right/wrong answers (e.g. "Does anyone know what is happening with MIXTAPE?", "What is the sample in SONG?")
  • general hip-hop discussion
  • meta posts...e.g. ideas for the sub

Thread Guidelines

  • Do not create a separate self post for these types of discussions outside of this thread - if you do, your post will be removed.

  • Please be helpful and friendly.

  • If a question has been asked many times before, provide a link to a thread that contains the answer.

Other ways to interact

There are a number of other ways to interact with other members of HHH:

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