Artist: Charles Hamilton
Album: The Pink Lavalamp
Label: N/A – Self-released through Demevolist Music Group (Interscope)
Date Released: December 8, 2008
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Littered throughout hip hop's history are a number of "What-Ifs" - Canibus, Memphis Bleek, Blu, Saigon, Pac Div, King Los, XV, and Charles Hamilton. The prototypical "internet rapper", Charles Hamilton's meteoric rise was arguably the first of its kind; the result of blog word-of-mouth and careful cultivation of his online fanbase, or "Starchasers" as they would likely prefer to be known.
Last year, I hit Charles Hamilton up on one of the few places I could find him still posting: Soundcloud. I didn't expect much - truthfully, I would've been happy even if I hadn't gotten a response. But as a long-time fan that just finished watching the painful story told by RedBull TV's 'Let it Play...Faultlines': The Charles Hamilton Story, I felt compelled to both tell him how much his music meant to me and ask him how he was doing. Unfortunately, all that now remains of his response is a singular message from a deleted user account:
"BLESS YOU, DUDE. This keeps me going. My life is silently turbulent. So I lay low. You keep pushing forward.
~#~"
Silently Turbulent. The perfect description for a man who has, for much of his life, struggled with undiagnosed bipolar disorder, drug problems, and sexual abuse.
"[He] started calling me his girlfriend. That was pretty humiliating. I used to have to like, hold hands with him walking down the street. My aunt told me it was my fault because I was "so beautiful". I thought girls were beautiful, I didn't think of myself as beautiful; I was just smiling all the time. But, you know, if I don't accept it was my fault, I don't accept I'm beautiful."
Silently Turbulent. The perfect description for the cursed life of a black entertainer. Yes, most public figures have to fight to maintain a veneer of happiness and satisfaction regardless of what they deal with within their personal lives, but as a black man, that stress is compounded by the need to coat ourselves in a fragile patina of confidence and masculinity to sell our next single/movie/comedy special. Our tears, if ever dared let drop, are met with little more than memes and spectacle.
In preparing this write-up, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to say. Not much is written about Charles today, so I struggled in coming up with something meaningful enough to do his harrowing story and this album justice. There's so much of his career and so much about this album that has seemingly been lost in the uncached ether of the internet.
Which is genuinely strange considering that this is an artist that was a 2009 XXL freshman with a million-dollar record deal and all the hype of the blog-era behind him. An artist that was arguably one of the best of Lupe Fiasco's All City Chess Club members. An artist that was rapping with Kendrick Lamar and Rone before they were famous. An artist that could hold his own in cyphers with Joe Budden and The Game and Kanye West.
So, what happened? How could Charles go from the height of the hip hop sphere to ending up with a debut album (This Perfect Life) that, as far as Interscope is concerned, doesn't exist, and being nearly impossible to track down on social media? From all that I can gather and remember, a number of controversies produced by his very public and self-destructive downward spiral, including a beef with labelmate Soulja Boy, a video of him being punched by his girlfriend, and bizarre claims that the late J Dilla had executively produced The Pink Lavalamp, among others.
And so, though all of that, we are left with a debut album turned independently released mixtape (due to Charles' reluctance to put Brooklyn girls on the album), that is more of a cult hit than the widely recognized classic it deserved to be.
"The Pink Lavalamp. My album. THE album. This album was recorded, mixed, written, produced…EVERYTHING during the worst period of my life. Ever. I was homeless, doped up, heartbroken, in love, poor, dirty, stinkin, angry, suicidal, happy, silly…but alive. And every song on there documents it all. Someone asked me to remix "Shinin," and I was like no. "Shinin" was my suicide letter. I wrote it, recorded it, and was gonna leave it on the computer and go kill myself later that day."
1."Music (Intro)" - 4:44
If you would rather sing than breathe; // If all you had left in your body was the ability to play your instrument, would you?
Is the question proposed to us by Hamilton on the opening of The Pink Lavalamp, one that he himself has seemingly answered through the trials and tribulations of his career. Through his stints of homelessness and imprisonment, Charles has fought to continue putting music out, no matter the cost. Over a chopped sample of Today by Graham Central Station (1974) and drums from Impeach the President by The Honey Drippers (1973), lays out his passion for music, using internal rhymes to help add extra rhythmic punches to several bars (which I really love):
If I like that shine on your necklace // I'ma bust shots, go Shyne on your necklace
---
When I was laying in the hospital bed, hooked to an IV // No one even cared if I'm dead, ain't want to find me
From Charles himself:
"I have always said that I am music. Granted that's a phrase that everyone uses, and they have a right to. Even Lil Wayne tattooed it above his eyes. But for me, music is more than just a means of making money. It's not even a means of art. It's my way of communicating. My way of thinking. My way of living. I would still be the outcast to ALL OF YOU (execs, fans, friends, family, EVERYONE) if it weren't for the musical ability I've been divinely blessed with by HER (points up to the sky, and glares with red eyes at everyone who's made fun of my theory on God's gender).
The first verse I wrote sober at my ex lover's church. Second verse I wrote at my mother's house, while high on weed. Third verse… hear it for yourself…"
2."Loser": - 4:46
Over a simple but super creative flip of One Night Affair by The Stylistics, Charles delivers 3 verses of some of the best rapping he has on record through playful puns and punchlines built into multiple flow-switches. Honestly, listening to this track is a hell of a throwback and a consistent reminder of the potential that was never fully realized. Aside from the opening bars, these lines from the 3rd verse are super smooth:
I'm a beast in booths, a nightmare in Nike Airs // A nice dream of ice creams the Nike fiend
3."She's So High" - 4:32
A softer cut that samples the bubbly Breathe by Telepopmusik, She's So High offers a pleasant reprieve from the intensity of the first two tracks. Lyrically, the track explores the ecstasy of an intoxicated encounter with a woman.
4."Voices" - 4:12
Voices uses an airy guitar passage from It's a Shame by The Spinners as a bed for Charles to describe the insanity and loneliness his attachment to music has saddled him with. This track sees CH getting into a more traditional rap-style with nearly every line punctuated with fairly pronounced doubled vocals - a small trick that really sells the schizophrenic theme of the track.
5."Boy Who Cried Wolf" - 4:39
Charles flips Joe Simon's You Don't Want To Believe It into a rumbling, head-nodding banger that acts as a middle finger to everyone that didn't support his come-up. The drums on this are crisp and front-and-center, and really accentuate the groove of the sample. Perhaps in reference to this song, Charles had this to say:
"No one ever wants to believe me about anything. No one wanted to believe me when I made Sonic the Hamilton. No one believed I could get a deal. No one believed I'd make it past 18. I myself didn't believe I could make it past 13, as many suicide attempts I got under my belt. And let's not forget about the almost overdose days. Yo HchO. Remember AM studios?"
6."Let Me Live" (featuring Bagdad) - 4:04
Easily one of my favorite tracks on the album, from the sampling to CH's flows, this is some of his best. Sampling Love Hangover by Diana Ross, this track offers a very fun and joyous diversion from the rest of the tracklist. The Dilla and Blaze influence is super strong on this one - I really love the chopping and the percussive elements are varied and well used. I'm not super in love with Bagdad's solo verse here, but Verse 3 features some great trading between him and Charles.
I done been through the games, I deal without poker
I done been through the rain, for real, I'm Al Roker
7."Brighter Days" - 4:42
I work hard for no glory like Louis Gossett // This life is the illest movie you can watch yet
Got to make sure all your moves are constant // Or lose your Franchise like the Houston Rockets
Friends and Strangers by Ronnie Laws serves as the musical bedrock for this track. Personally, I like the drums here much more than on Wale's The Friends N Strangers, as I feel like they build a much stronger groove. I also love the switch-up to those beautiful rhodes at the end.
8."The Cookout" - 4:33
The next cut, featuring a Mothership Connection (Star Child)- Parliament flip, is super smooth. I wouldn't have known Charles produced this if it didn't have his trademark cymbal transitions. Charles does his thing lyrically on here too.
Bring ether to my targets, KKK when I'm burning crosses
I hated the chorus back when I first listened, but it's honestly grown on me.
9."Sat(t)elite" - 4:07
You can leave if you want, but I ain't goin' no where
(I only wanna be with you)
Cause you know where your home is, so I don't care
(I only wanna be with you)
Just as long you know that I'm a stay right here
(I only wanna be with you)
So you can leave if you want, but you ain't goin' no where
You are my Satellite
Another one of my favorite tracks on this album. Sampling I Only Want To Be With You by Shelby Lynne, Charles creates a super sweet and tender love song. Drums are pretty typical for the mid-2000s, but I think this song has aged somewhat well. The background vocals perfectly compliment the instrumental, and the chorus is probably the best on the entire album.
10."Live Life to the Fullest" (featuring Yung Nate) - 3:38
Up next is a bumpy, chemistry-filled detour featuring Yung Nate and sampling This Place Hotel (a.k.a. Heartbreak Hotel) by The Jacksons. Nate and Charles kill their verses on here:
I'm a bad mamma jamma probably meet your mamma jamma // then you wonder why you pulling dirty condoms out your hamper
--
Duke tried to front for a chick, black head crack, put the 4-5 to his 6 pack
--
I'm so far ahead of my time I started selling moon rocks as a grind
--
Theses niggas can't breathe till they man in a casket
Tell the bitch to exhale like Angela Bassett, Bastard
11."Come Back to You" - 5:08
Charles showcases a lot of passion and vigour on this track, both in delivery and writing.
I'm not an angel; far from the devil // But my heart isn't metal; it's fragile
First kiss was as sweet as the last goodbye
Love the use of contrast here to really paint these lines for the listener. The chorus on here is a little cluttered, but it's got some great components. This track features a sped up flip of Voyage to Atlantis by The Isley Brothers.
12."Latte" - 4:41
"The night before I wrote this song, I shot the biggest dose of heroin. I was watching this episode of "Behind the Music" with Motley Crue, and I heard Nikki Syxx say that he quit the habit after he did that. So I tried it. And everything I saw in my dream, I woke up and wrote about it.
And it all started with having a latte with HchO."
Sampling Last Train to London by Electric Light Orchestra and Closer by Nine Inch Nails, Charles delves into the complications and stress his drug abuse places on his life and his relationship. Super somber track that's very painful to listen to knowing how things turned out after this.
13."Shinin'" - 4:24
"Someone asked me to remix "Shinin," and I was like no. "Shinin" was my suicide letter. I wrote it, recorded it, and was gonna leave it on the computer and go kill myself later that day."
This song is fucking great - the drums pair with those hauntingly beautiful background vocals to create this marching sense of eerieness and dread. There was unfortunately a controversy around this beat however, wherein Charles was accused of stealing it from another producer, Black Spade. That being said, I really do love this song. Sample is Golden Time of Day by Maze featuring Frankie Beverly.
14."I'll Be Around (Outro)" - 6:00
My prognosis is psychosis // I'm a dropout, a junkie, and a drunk
Honestly, is that the kind of company you want around your son? // That's why I run, that's why I'm numb, That's why I'm such a fucking punk
As sad as it is beautiful. Sampling The Spinners - I'll Be Around, this track is so harrowing in it's honesty and openness. You can hear Charles getting choked up through each verse and chorus, to the point of audibly crying towards the end. Like Latte, this song is pretty hard to listen to now.
15."Writing in the Sky" (Bonus Track)
I'm always made to feel inadequate, the man on stage
But I'm a nobody after it, the spotlight fades
But I'm still chasing after it, the jack of only one trade
Closing out the album is Writing in the Sky, a track that samples Betcha by Golly, Wow by The Stylistics to create a sweet little instrumental Charles uses to lament over his problems and insecurities. Triumphant yet sad, this song is a fitting send-off for the album.
Conclusion
Clocking at over 70 minutes of runtime, this album lays out Charles' potential in frustrating detail - the mixing for example, varies as wildly as the quality of Charles' vocal performances. But I think that's a part of the charm: losers aren't supposed to get things right.
Discussion Questions:
- What would hip hop look like if Charles' career had taken off?
- Do labels have a responsibility to care for their artist's mental health?
- If you were familiar with Charles Hamilton, how does the information in this post and the documentary change your view of him?
